My conversation with relationship expert and radio show host Harvey Bailey happened in divine order. I met him through Parkville Toastmasters (while I was living and working in Maryland) and our relationship transcended the club – we ended up becoming close friends. Although I no longer live in the Maryland area, we stayed in touch, and this conversation happened on a return trip to Maryland.
Harvey is an author and professional speaker. He’s also an ordained Reverend, a certified Reiki instructor, and a master of mental science. He gives off the best vibe in the world, and it’s a pleasure to be in his calm, assured presence. He exudes love not as an idea or concept, but as a way of being. Love is more than an emotion: it’s a power that connects us all.
Harvey will show you that you are destined for greatness. He’s the perfect end to this book, the cherry on top of the whipped cream, the ace in the hole. When you take what we’ve already discussed and mix in the following mental science laws, you have the recipe for success and making a real impact in the world. Let’s head for the Mountaintop and leave the haters in the dust!
Serendipity
The journey of life is no cakewalk, and Harvey knows that better than anyone. Having already overcome setbacks earlier in his life, he knows how to handle the curveballs and twists and turns in life. (Type into YouTube, “Survival Harvey Bailey,” to see his epic speech which I filmed for him as he was speaking at one of Brian Olds’s SKILLS events in September of 2013. The YouTube link is titled with one word: Survival.)
It turns out the weekend I went to see Harvey in person to feature him in this book was quite serendipitous, because Harvey had just broken through to a new level of success by landing some great client deals, speaking engagements, coaching sessions, and seminars of all sorts. Harvey overcame the early stages of the entrepreneur’s journey and took his business, and life, to a whole new level. To Harvey, the key to reaching your Mountaintop is trusting in God.
“I promised myself that I would let go and trust in God more,” Harvey said. “And that’s easy to do when everything is going well, but when the bills run high, and the income runs low, the doubts start coming on and it becomes a lot harder to maintain that trust. I’m growing my business and running my seminars to help people flourish in their lives and relationships, and my business partner and I are a good match. But it’s not always easy to get everyone we want to our seminars and sometimes the people who sign up don’t show up.
“In the past, I might have let that get me down,” Harvey continued. “But, now that I’ve increased my trust in God that everything will work out, I just keep on going and pushing forward. When I finally saw deals come in that were able to sustain me, it was a mixture of action and serendipity. Sometimes I would get calls out of the blue from people who turned into perfect coaching clients, and sometimes I would have to work like crazy to create the right opportunities for my business. But, throughout it all, I knew God would always provide for me the right opportunities at the right time.
“I went through some struggles and could have quit my business, but I knew this was an opportunity to deepen my trust in God,” Harvey expressed. “I knew this was what I wanted to do – be a speaker, coach, relationship expert, seminar leader, and entrepreneur – and I wasn’t about to let that go. Although some people around me were doubting, I kept putting myself out there. Eventually, right in the nick of time, I landed the business I needed to push me forward. It came from a trust in both myself and God.
“It was not as hard as I thought it would be. Yes, obviously, I went through some struggles, and it wasn’t always easy, but looking back on it I now know that taking action is a lot more powerful than we may initially think. Even with my back up against the wall, a relatively small amount of purposeful action went a long way.”
Harvey’s story is inspirational, to say the least. He made it happen by forging his own luck and deepening his spiritual connection to a higher power, something that would benefit us all. What I learned from Harvey’s story and adventure is that most of our obstacles come from within.
It’s not that our goals and dreams are impossible and the world is plotting against us – rather, it’s exactly the opposite. Our goals and dreams are closer than we realize and when we take action – that first step – previously unseen forces emerge from the ether to assist us in moving forward.
When was the last time you spent a whole day thinking about nothing but your goal? When was the last time you took massive action, without being overly concerned about rejection and external circumstances, even when your back was up against the wall? Let’s both learn from Harvey’s example and remind ourselves to take more action each and every day. Action is the key to success.
Creativity, Breathing, and Visualization
“This is great stuff my friend,” I said. “And you certainly are a wise man. Another thought comes to mind: a big challenge for a lot of us is that we have more than one passion. How do we know which one to focus on?”
“Become creative and combine two loves,” Harvey said. “For example, there are plenty of people who have found ways to merge travel with their profession, if travel is one of their loves. Think of a win-win solution, some kind of permutation that may not have been initially obvious. Look for people who have done what you want to do and then figure out how to use their model but in your own unique way.
“Creating a vision board changed my life and it can change yours as well. It took things to the next level. In that vision board, write out exactly how you want it to work. Do you want your boyfriend/girlfriend to stay with you and travel with you? Put it on the vision board. Then send energies into the vision board and let that reality manifest. For example, if you want to move overseas start looking at places overseas; start considering options, but don’t be locked in as to how it’s going to happen. Then leave it to the universe as to how it will be created.
“Do some visualization; sit there and see it in your mind,” added Harvey. “Don’t be attached to HOW it’s supposed to happen, just see it happening – see yourself overseas, see your girl there with you, and let the universe fill in the blanks.”
“I like all of this,” I said. “In fact, I love all of it, and I will be putting it into practice, as will others. A big question that comes up though is what about people who struggle with visualization, who say it’s not for them?”
“For people who have trouble with visualization, the answer is usually just in clearing their mind. When they concentrate on their breathing for a number of days and weeks, it allows their awareness to grow. They can push those negative thoughts out of their minds by thinking, or saying out loud, cancel, cancel, or, zero, zero,” Harvey answered.
“My suggestion is to create a schedule where for the first three weeks,” Harvey further explained, “you do nothing but focus on your breathing and observing your breath. In week four, don’t focus on the breath, but rather focus on clearing the mind. During weeks five through eight, combine the breathing with the clear mind, and then weeks nine through twelve are all about visualization.”
You may, of course, customize this process to suit your schedule and needs. You may even want to go straight to the visualization. With that said, this is the process that has worked incredibly well for Harvey to reach his Mountaintop, as well as for many others that he has spoken with and coached. In short, this is a process that has led to practical results for people just like you and me. If you are ridiculously busy, start with a few minutes of breathing and visualization time each day.
“The first three weeks of this process is just observing your breath for fifteen minutes a day,” Harvey added. “By the end of the fourth week, work up to thirty minutes. And remember, week four is about clearing the mind.
“Most people don’t breathe properly,” Harvey explained. “When you breathe in, breathe deep into the diaphragm and create a Buddha belly pointing out. This is what will take you to the alpha state. On the exhale, push the belly in.”
I tend to do the opposite of what Harvey suggested with my breathing, based on the way I push my belly in on the inhale and out on the exhale. I trust Harvey with this process because I know he’s an expert, so I’m going to do what he is suggesting here.
Do what works for you, but try out Harvey’s suggestions and see if they add quality to your life. They certainly have worked wonders for me.
Mind Control
“Thoughts are like anything else,” Harvey said. “You may remove them at will. That’s where mind control methods come into play when reaching and sustaining your own version of success. I’m a big fan of the Silva Mind Control methods, as I’ve taken several Silva Method courses and a lot of the advice I give on meditation came from what I learned there.
“As far as the Silva teachings, at a basic level, it’s all about clearing your mind with deep breathing. Count down from 3 to 1, going down to the alpha mindset. Then put the vision, the final result, of what you want to achieve in your mind. Do this every day until you achieve the particular goal or result you want.
“It’s always a learning process,” Harvey added. “So be patient and loving with yourself and try to make light of the frustrations.
Even the so-called gurus and experts haven’t mastered this process, so remember it’s just about practicing, making time, and moving forward.”
Parting Words
“Stay focused,” Harvey said. “Go within to learn about yourself because not enough people know themselves well, if at all. Never stop learning, never stop growing, and never stop trying. And most importantly, stay connected to God.
“When you are going after your goals, dreams, career aspirations, and business plans, break it down into the steps you need to move forward. Continually ask yourself what skills you need to learn, what you need to study, who you need to get to know (investors, potential sponsors, etc.), and what you need to master to get to where you want to be.
“Another tip I recommend is doing a cost analysis of your business idea. Make sure it’s at least a somewhat viable idea, even if you have to look out into the future to plan for your own success. This is what will allow you to budget, buy business cards, set up a website, and do that one thing that is needed to move you forward.
“Measure where you are moving toward; if it’s achievable, someone else has probably done it. Just make sure it’s realistic. And when I say realistic, I am talking about it being realistic to YOU, not to others. Also, create a time frame, which is a specific date when certain stages of the process will be successfully launched. Your success doesn’t depend on what other people think, so don’t worry about that either. Don’t be afraid to strike off on your own and do your own thing.
“Also, don’t be vague. Let your mind go to work with specific timeframes and action lists. Then, every day, you can do at least one thing on your to-do list to move in the direction of the success you want to create. And you can add momentum to that by taking it into prayer and visualization. Like all things in life you get out what you put in, so the more energy you put into it, the more you will get out of it.”
I’m sure, by now, you can tell why I’m so impressed with this man. He worked for his success while applying the Mountaintop way of life to speed up the process of his success significantly. You will never once, ever, hear me say there is a shortcut to success. But you will hear me say, time and time again, both through my own words and the words of the experts I have interviewed, that there is a way to be successful, happy, liberated, and free without compromising your happiness. In addition, you can successfully maintain your peace of mind and sanity, with reduced stress.
The path of least resistance doesn’t include any shortcuts. Rather, the path of least resistance is the most effective way to your Mountaintop. It’s the path that cuts out the naysayers and allows you to focus in on what YOU want so that you may effectively help others in your unique way.
Visualization worked incredibly well for me when I competed in the 2014 District 53 Toastmasters International Speech Competition. Competing against some of the best speakers in the Northeast, I had my work cut out for me. Not many people thought I could win, but I continued to visualize the desired outcome of holding the first-place trophy. I imagined the feeling of connecting with the audience and sharing an epic message. Before the big day, I held the feeling in my heart, mind, and soul of making a difference and achieving victory.
My speech was called Someday is Today. My message was, time is incredibly short, and our lives can be taken from us unexpectedly at any time. My three tips to the audience to live their dreams were as follows. One, be disciplined on a daily basis by making time to work on your goal. Two, collaborate with others and figure out ways to get around the right people. And three, push past rejection. Every no is one step closer to a yes.
I was speaker seven of seven in the contest, and I gave the speech of my life. I won first place and was crowned as one of the best speakers in the world. My authenticity came through, and I made a genuine connection with the audience exactly as I imagined and visualized it happening. I say this for no reason other than to show you what’s possible. Winning this contest completely changed my life in every way, opening doors of opportunity and possibility, and jumpstarting my professional speaking career. There are no limits. I believe in you.
In the end, it’s about what success means to you, not someone else. Use the power of your mind to give you the edge as you go after what you want. Apply the steps in this book and watch as your life improves for the better. You will have setbacks and down days, but on the whole, you will make progress and get from where you are to where you want to be. It’s been an absolute honor to have you on this journey with me, and I’m eternally grateful you’ve considered these words. Blow by the haters, critics, and naysayers by staying true to yourself. This is your life to live and no one else’s. You’ve got this. See you at the Mountaintop.
Questions for Reflection
- What do you want to put on your vision board? What are some ways you can keep your goals, dreams, and vision in front of you on a regular basis?
- What is your biggest and most audacious goal? What end result would make sense for you to start visualizing in your free time?
- What one project or task would, upon completion, fill you with the greatest sense of meaning, purpose, and power?
This is chapter 11 of the award-winning book Reach Your Mountaintop: 10 Keys to Finding the Hidden Opportunity in Your Setbacks, Flipping What You’ve Heard on Its Head, and Achieving Legendary Goals. To connect further with Ordained Reverend and coach Harvey Bailey, feel free to email him at theonethought@gmail.com.
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