Energy: Nearly Suicide, and Then Enlightenment (Self-Realization)

Your Self-Worth Doesn’t Depend on External Circumstances

At seventeen years old, I came incredibly close to committing suicide. I felt like a total failure and disappointment in the eyes of myself and others. After four years of struggle in high school, and enduring the physical and emotional abuse of several people, I felt like the only way out was to end my life.

Shortly after putting down the rope and heading back to my room, I went into deep meditation. In this meditation, near the end, I went into a profound sense of peace. The best way to describe it is that I went into the energy field. It wasn’t an out-of-body experience, but I couldn’t feel my body either.

While in this feeling of pure energy, I realized that your self-worth doesn’t depend on external circumstances. This is something that no one – not one person – taught me up until that moment. I also realized that beyond the illusion of daily life, everything is ultimately energy.

I had no social support (no true friends) and no one who cared, but this meditation helped me to get through my clinical depression and suicidal thoughts. In the energy field, I felt peace and support that I’d never experienced before.

A Remarkable Experience That’s Hard to Re-Enact

I’ve been meditating for thirteen years since I was seventeen, and I haven’t had a meditation as profound as the one I experienced as described above. I’ve come close, and I’ve felt energy flow in my body many times, but not going into a state of pure energy as directly as the time when I was seventeen.

This is OK – meditation is about daily practice, not trying to replicate a previous experience. Each meditation is unique, and I’ve released all sorts of difficulties in meditation. I’m so grateful that I was able to enter into such pure energy even once. To be honest, what happened on that life-changing evening was improbable.

Establish a meditation and reflection practice. It will help you to process and release difficulties, find your center, and feel more peaceful.

I’ll never forget entering into the energy field at seventeen – it saved my life. You can call this energy field whatever you’d like – God, source, spirit, Yahweh, Jehovah, etc. The point is, with no hope and no other coping mechanisms available, down to my last option, meditation saved me. I hope a practice like this helps you as well.

Jeff Davis is an award-winning author, most recently publishing The Power of Authentic Leadership: Activating the 13 Keys to Achieving Prosperity Through Authenticity.