I first connected with Robert Kennedy III due to our mutual connection Brian Olds. I got a good vibe from Robert and really like what he’s about. He’s an author, professional speaker, coach, and leadership and communication expert, among other talents.
Several years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting him in person and we exchanged books we’d written. We stayed connected over the years and I was impressed by his level of consistency in his endeavors. I asked him if he’d be up for being featured on my blog so I could share his insights with others, and he said yes.
We had an enjoyable and enlightening conversation on all things leadership, and I’m excited to share with you all that he has to offer.
Robert’s Relationship With God (and His Wife)
“How do you maintain your relationship with God amidst your hectic schedule?” I asked to get the conversation going. “Do you feel that God is guiding your steps?”
“I don’t know if I’d say I’m maintaining it amidst a schedule,” Robert said to me. “I’ve really placed it at the forefront of things. So, when I wake up, that’s the first thing. There’s a time for prayer. There’s a time for meditation. This includes reading The Word and Devotionals.
“The hectic comes after that. It’s like the relationship I have with my wife. I don’t want to fit my wife in amidst everything else. She’s first before business and everything else. She needs to feel like I’m thinking of her and I’m speaking to her before I take on the cares of any other person or the world. I see my relationship with God the same way.
“I’m able to do what I do because He’s led me here. Whenever I’ve decided to go left or go right, I can look back over my life and see the common thread of how God has re-routed life for me – even when I decided to go my own way.
“It hasn’t always been happy and joyful. It hasn’t always been easy. But God has turned the challenges into wins, growth moments, and opportunities for me. I’m grateful for all of it.”
Owning His Gray Hair
“That was a home run answer,” I said to Robert. “I’m really absorbing this, especially with the alignment of priorities, which has been a recent theme in my life. Moving along here, I’d like to ask you, how are you able to so confidently own your gray hair? I’m in my early thirties now and have some gray hair on both sides of my head. I felt sad about this at first, but then I realized I need to own it like you and was wondering how you do that.”
“I don’t want to say that I’ve always owned it,” Robert said. “Like yourself, the grays begin peeking out at different times in life that I’d notice while shaving. It really happened during the pandemic, or shortly before the pandemic. I’d never grown a beard before.
“Just before the pandemic I started to grow out the beard, in January or February of 2020. I said to myself, You know, let me start growing out the beard a little bit. And then lockdown happened, and I was like, Let’s just let it grow.
“I began to embrace it as a new season. You’re 32, Jeff. I’ll be 50 next year. So I just started to look at, What’s important for me? What’s happening in this season of my life that I want to create? What’s the legacy I want to leave?
“As I began to ponder those types of things, I began to say, OK, let me lock in on the next season and focus on it. In my mind, if God grants me ten years, this is going to be the doggone best decade of my life. I’m going to live it full-out. As I embrace that, I’m embracing everything that comes with it, whether that’s the gray or the pain.
“My son is 15 going on 16 and he can almost beat me at basketball, but not quite. Though it takes me longer to recover now. It’s about embracing those new seasons in life.”
“Your son is lucky to have you as a father,” I said to Robert.
“I appreciate that,” Robert said. “Thank you.”
It’s meaningful how Robert touched on embracing the pain. It’s important to realize that life has a lot of struggles in it – rather than avoid it, you can face it head-on. This approach leads to those truly joyful moments that we all treasure and appreciate, like Robert playing basketball with his son.
A Servant Leader in Action
“As we roll along here, I’d like to ask you: how do you find the balance and create the link between adding value and monetization strategies in a way that’s effective for your business and not off-putting for others?” I asked. “Every entrepreneur sort of has their own angle and perspective and I’m interested in yours.”
“I don’t know that I’ve found a balance,” Robert said. “I don’t worry about the monetization as much. Yes, I do need to make money. Yes, I do – as I plan my year – identify what the streams of income are for my business and my family. And I attach value to them, including monetary value.
“But I don’t work by saying, OK, unless I get paid for this specific thing, then I’m not doing it at all. If there are people that need help, if there are questions that are asked to me, like people asking me to help them solve a problem, and I’m able to do it, then I do that.
“A lot of times people will ask, Hey, do you have a program? Or, How do I pay you for this? I’ve gotten checks where people have just been like, Can you help us figure out this thing online? I helped them figure out, and then they asked how they could pay me for it.
“I tell them they don’t have to, or I’ll tell them how I’m really supporting a charity right now. I have a link that’s ‘pay what you want’. If they choose to donate or send something, then great. If not, I’m not sending an invoice or chasing after people because I don’t want to do that.
“So far, since we’re talking about things from a spiritual level, God has really taken care of me and my family. There are things I have to do that I don’t enjoy – I certainly don’t enjoy paying taxes! But my family is not hungry. We live in a nice home. Our kids are healthy. We have food in the fridge and gas in the tank. We have blessings and luxuries that people in our country and other countries don’t have.
“I also believe in increase, and I do ask God to enlarge my territory because I believe there are more people that I can help with an enlarged territory. This is how I continue to live.”
To add in my own thoughts here: this is SO refreshing. So many people are all about Either you pay me, or I’m not doing it. And I get where they’re coming from. But there’s something that is even more important than money: living your mission and serving others.
Notice that Robert and I aren’t saying here that money isn’t important. We’re simply showing that there’s a more genuine approach to business that allows you to make money while also truly helping others.
Vengeance Isn’t Robert’s To Go After
“I find this enlightening,” I said to Robert. “And it’s so refreshing in an industry that sometimes forgets about the primary mission in all of this. Want to ask a couple questions here. When you get the question, Hey, how can I pay for this when you’re genuinely helping someone, I’m assuming you get that question after you’ve already helped.”
“Yes,” Robert said.
“You’re not ever worried about getting burned by an unscrupulous person, or is it really just genuinely about serving?” I asked.
“It’s not my job to go after someone if they decide to use me,” Robert said. “’Vengeance is mine,’ says the Lord. I don’t really worry about that end of things. If someone is going to use me, what that does is it tells me who they are and what type of person they are.
“If that’s the way someone lives life, then what comes to you is what you deserve. I’ve been told plenty of times, Hey, Robert, why do you give so much? Why don’t you hold back certain information? Why do you share all of this in your free programs and free challenges?
“What I say to those questions is, Listen, I don’t know how to hold back. I don’t know how to say, OK, I’m going to give you this much and then dangle the keys over your head until you pay me so you can grab the keys. That doesn’t make sense for me and doesn’t feel right to me.
“If someone really wants to do a deep dive with me after feeling like I gave them a firehose of information so they can learn how to break it down, I’ll say, OK, cool, let’s figure out how we can work together to make sure we both have committed time.
“But outside of that, I don’t worry about being used in that way.”
“Wow,” I said. “‘Vengeance is mine,’ says the Lord. That’s powerful, man. Thanks for sharing that. I feel like when I’m giving stuff away for free, I get feedback or criticism to not give away so much. But I’m resonating with what you’re saying here. It sounds like it’s working for you, which is refreshing, because a lot of people may not have that approach.”
“Yeah, I don’t ‘talk down’ people who have the message, Hey, know your worth, and allow people to have skin in the game by charging for your work,” Robert said. “I totally get there is a balance between going around and giving everything away for free and you’re suffering by just serving everybody. And I understand that.
“But the reason I don’t worry about that is because there’s a foundation in my business where a lot of the work is corporate work. Corporations aren’t typically asking me to do stuff for free – they understand business.
“Although I am asked by some corporations and organizations to speak at a conference for free. I have to make a distinction sometimes, as I can’t speak at every single conference for free because I’d go out of business.
“So, I’m like, I’m doing this amount of free conferences this month or this quarter. This is especially true regarding a conference where I’m speaking for free and also can’t share anything else that would lead people to a product from me. I have to take note of those things.
“If we’re talking spiritual again, Solomon talks about being wise like a serpent. So I have to make sure that I operate in a spirit of service while also operating in a spirit of stewardship of the gift I do have.”
“I love that the conversation has taken on a theme of spirituality and the God connection,” I said. “It’s powerful and so important.”
Robert doesn’t play games. He does it HIS way and what he feels is right. Success is all about doing what works for you.
We’re directly getting insights from the mind of a true winner and champion, folks. Absorb as much as you can!
Take what resonates with you and run with it.
Your Experiences and Story Are Valuable
“You go live a lot online in your group,” I said. “Facebook lives, LinkedIn lives, I see you putting yourself out there all the time. Unbelievable levels of consistency. Where do you get all the energy to maintain your business and online presence with everything else you do? Your family is a big priority, for example. How do you do it?”
“I don’t know if I have an answer to that,” Robert said. “It’s about focusing on goals or focusing on what you want to create. I love what I do – l love training, workshopping, and speaking. But if I had my dream life, I’d love to just be in a space where I’m doing a lot of interviews with people while running my training company.
“I’ll let others do some of the work, while I do the interviewing and speaking – stuff like this. When the pandemic hit, I recognized that I was still doing a lot of work that people really didn’t know about. So, I started focusing on creating content.
“The content becomes these little seeds that proliferate all over the place. People tell me how they see me live on social media all the time. Sometimes I’m really live and other times it’s recorded.
“In either case, I sat down and decided what I wanted to create, how I can do that and schedule it that works in a way I enjoy during the week, and then share that with society at large. If after a while it doesn’t work, then I make shifts by evaluating and adjusting.
“What I want to create is space for people to have an opportunity to know that their lives, stories, and experiences are valuable. And they can transform the world by sharing those stories. That’s the consistent message I want to share.”
Empathy Is the Gateway to Authentic Leadership Success
“What does authentic leadership mean to you?” I asked. “What do you find are some of the biggest challenges with authentic leadership and how do you move past them? How do you find the balance between being honest with others while also being respectful of their emotions?”
“Authentic leadership means different things to different people,” Robert said. “For me the core of authentic leadership is empathy. If you are not a person who embraces or understands empathy, then it’s hard to be authentic in a way that connects with people.
“To use the slang term, people like to say, Yeah, I’m keeping it real. A lot of times you can keep it real while hurting other people. Especially from the emotional intelligence standpoint, the first thing I need to study and embrace is the empathy of it all.
“Especially in this world, in the United States, where you’ve got a lot of people throwing haymakers, fire, and Molotov cocktails at each other online.
“Hurt people hurt people. Most people don’t throw or hurt others simply because they are these evil villains. They’re trying to defend themselves and there are things that have happened in their space that they’re trying to self-protect against that causes them to lash out.
“A lot of people feel like, If I lash out first, I’m going to hurt somebody and keep them from hurting me. That’s the only language they understand because they’ve been hurt so much.
“So, when I see people doing things like that, my first thought is, What had to happen in their life and in their space in order for them to respond that way? As I think through that, my first response now is one of concern for them rather than trying to process that they’re trying to hurt me.
“From a leadership perspective, especially from an authentic leadership perspective, my job is to embrace the empathy to find out how people are living and what experiences they’re having that cause them to operate in the way they do.
“Therefore, I need to figure out how to connect with them, and if I can connect with them, I can inspire them. If I can inspire them, then I can motivate them to action.”
“That’s Master’s or PhD level content,” I said. “I appreciate you sharing this powerful wisdom, as it’s so important. I know this and I do live it, though it’s so hard. I’ve been growing and evolving, and also feeling the frustrations.
“I admire your maturity here, because when you get hurt by someone, the little kid in you is upset and wants to lash back. I usually don’t take action on that desire to lash back, but it’s so hard to live.”
“It is hard to live,” Robert said. “And there’s a time to fight. In the Bible, Solomon in Ecclesiastes talks about a time for everything. In the United States, we have a lot of different movements. Black Lives Matter, there’s a whole lot of different stuff.
“There was a lot of Asian hate happening recently, and so many different ethnic groups are really being attacked because of the unwillingness to have empathy. In those cases, yes, you do need a fighting spirit. You do need a champion. You do need someone to fight for you if you’re unable to do it yourself.
“So, there’s a necessity for fighting. But leaders must be able to balance that fight with the ability to be empathic and understand the different arenas and experiences people have – so that their driving force isn’t obliteration. Their driving force is equity and justice.”
“Yes,” I said. “That makes a lot of sense. If you’re going to go with these powerful responses, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad-level responses, you can respond to someone’s lack of empathy with empathy by wondering what occurred in their space to create a human being who, very sadly, lacks empathy.
“I’ve been doing this lately. I pray for my enemies. I often say, The more anger and aggression someone has on the outside, the more pain and sadness they have on the inside.
“I love that,” Robert said. “Yes. And it’s about the language that we speak – when I say language I’m talking about our behaviors and our responses. The more we experience certain things and respond in certain ways, that becomes the language we first reach to when we encounter certain experiences and situations.
“When I’m online, especially, I see people having these debates over things I consider to be petty. While I do have an opinion and I could enter the fray and respond, more often than not, I don’t because that’s not the language I want to practice. That’s not the space where I want to use my energy in that moment.
“I believe that I’m destined for greater things. I believe I can help people who are hurting in a greater way. Spending my time fighting unnecessarily with people who only really are intent upon fighting is not a great use of my time.”
Robert hit a grand slam out of the park here.
Authentic leadership is all about the balance. Being empathic doesn’t mean you’re going to let people walk all over you. You just need to be smart and strategic about when you fight.
I’ve certainly had to stand up to dysfunctional people before, and I’m sure you have as well. I love how Robert pointed out that while he’s all about empathy, there’s also a time to stand up for yourself.
The key here is that when you do fight, do it over something important, like the Black Lives Matter movement – not something petty like throwing Molotov cocktails at other people online simply because they don’t share your opinion and perspective.
The wisdom here is so powerful and practical, as so many people today are on social media getting caught up in online debates. I’ve been guilty of it myself.
Ask yourself: what kind of person do you want to be? What kind of ‘language’ do you want to speak in the way that Robert was referring to, as far as the habitual response patterns you’re ingraining into your brain and behavior? We are what we repeatedly do.
You’re destined for bigger and better things. You’re destined for greatness. Stay focused on that – not who you can ‘beat’ in an argument on Twitter.
With Nothing Left to Lose, Swing Your Hardest
“What would you say to someone really struggling with life?” I asked. “Especially being that a lot of people are still struggling right now.”
“When your back is up against the wall, you’ve got to have a solid belief that you’re going to be OK,” Robert said. “It’s that saying, I’m going to go forward or die trying.
“The worst is to live life and regret an action. It’s to sit there and know and feel you could’ve done something but you’re experiencing suffering because you decided to do nothing. To me it’s worse to live life with regret than to die trying to be better.
“When you feel like things are going against you, and you’ve got nothing left to lose, give everything you’ve got. Just decide that you’re going to swing the bat. Swing your hardest – if you connect, you’ll probably hit a home run. If you miss it, then you miss it. But there’s nothing worse than having the bat on your shoulder knowing that you could have hit the ball if you swung, and now you’re strike three sitting there, stewing, and knowing that you just left the bat on your shoulder.
“That’s the biggest thing for me. A lot of people say, You gotta believe in God, and I do believe in God, especially when at the low points, but I also believe that in that belief is strength.
“When the Bible in Philippians 4:13 talks about, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, there’s a do inside of that. ‘I can do.’ It’s not Things will happen to me because Christ strengthens me. It’s I can do all things. So, I’ve got to do, even when my back is against the wall.”
“Love that,” I said. “Taking action is so essential – I resonate with that deeply. That’s a home run to end with. This is awesome and I learned from this. I’m looking forward to sharing this with others.”
If you absorb information better in an audio/video format, feel free to check out the recording of our discussion on YouTube:
Robert Kennedy III is an author, professional speaker, coach, and leadership and communications expert. He is also the Founder of Storytellers Growth Lab, a dynamic community centered around improving storytelling and communications – including everything to do with the technology around communicating better in the online world. He’s the real deal and I encourage you to check out his website and work with him as your trusted speaker, trainer, facilitator, and/or leadership communication coach. Also check out his books, including 7 Ways To Know You Were Meant To Lead.
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