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An Unexpected Encounter
Shortly after walking in and shaking Chris Salem’s hand at a Starbucks in Newtown, Connecticut, while ordering coffee I ran into an old friend of mine from middle school. Although we went to different high schools, we stayed in touch for a while. But we completely lost contact during college and I hadn’t talked to him in years.
I asked my old friend how he was doing and he told me what he was up to. He then asked how I was doing and I told him that I’m an author and speaker. We had a great conversation and we were happy for each other’s success.
I sat down with Chris, drinking my Starbucks coffee (I almost never drink coffee, but those Frappuccinos are good), and told him about bumping into my friend.
“That was an old friend of mine,” I said. “And it’s funny that we were so friendly in person. I mean, I would expect nothing less, but I sent him an invitation to connect on social media and he didn’t accept it.”
Chris nodded, listening respectfully and attentively as he always does.
“I know how silly and small this is,” I said. “And I hope I’m not taking away from our discussion.”
“No, not at all,” Chris said. “I think you bring up a good point that a lot of people deal with. You don’t connect with someone on social media and you wonder where you stand with them, but in person you are very friendly with one another. I think that’s something we all experience to one degree or another.”
“Yeah exactly,” I said. “I’ve always preferred in-person conversations to the virtual world, but sometimes the virtual world is necessary. Thanks for understanding. It’s just on my mind and I thought I’d share it.”
“Couple things to remember here,” Chris said. “One, you can’t hang on to everyone you meet. You hadn’t seen him in years, you weren’t really friends anymore, so it’s not a big deal that you aren’t virtually connected and don’t plan on meeting again anytime soon. Two, and this is why I think it’s great you brought this up, life is all about surrounding yourself with the right people.”
I nodded while sipping my iced coffee.
“I’m not saying that he was the wrong guy to be around, but what I am saying is that your career takes off when you are around the right people,” Chris said. “I heard your conversation with that guy and you were authentic and yourself, which made you credible. Also, you were acting in a happy way without expecting something of him, which is the way to handle all human interactions.”
“That’s a great point,” I said. “Makes a lot of sense. Sometimes I overthink these things and I appreciate your input here.”
“Anytime Jeff. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he’s a fantastic guy and you guys were happy to see one another,” Chris replied. “But everyone comes into your life for a reason. And everyone goes out of it for a reason. You’re an incredibly busy guy and that’s an understatement. Part of the journey of achieving goals while enjoying life is to free up your schedule a bit. Don’t worry about not remaining friends with someone, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you need the extra time.”
Finding Your Center
“This is incredible and I look forward to sharing what you said,” I said. “What other words of wisdom do you have?”
“First, spend five to ten minutes a day in meditation,” Chris said. “Focus on your inner light and clear your head. This can be done in the morning or evening, it doesn’t matter which, but it’s essential that this is done at least once a day.
“Second, life is all about training your mind. You are still going to have days where you feel overwhelmed, even after putting some of these tips into practice. There are even going to be bad days. But catch it and turn it around! CATCH IT. If you let negative emotions fester, that’s where drugs, alcohol, diseases, and medications come from. Diseases manifest by thinking negatively. This can even lead to weight gain,” Chris said.
We both pause, taking in the moment.
“Your book is about reaching the Mountaintop,” Chris said. “And the secret to reaching the Mountaintop is to not take the easy way out. The easy thing is to go have a drink when you’re having a rough day. But you can train your mind and live a purposeful and productive life, regardless of the circumstances.”
“Another parting shot,” Chris said, “is to learn to not dwell on things. It’s 100% true. Move on. I know it can be hard, having gone through a divorce myself, but once you cut those strings and learn to let go it’s the greatest feeling in the world. Perhaps the best piece of advice I have for anyone on this planet is this: if it doesn’t serve you, then push it away. Do what serves you because only when you first serve yourself can you then serve others.
“One last little tidbit,” Chris said, “is to be careful what emotional state you are in. This is crucial. It’s often the difference been success and failure, happiness and misery, deal or no deal. You don’t want to be spurting things off when your emotions are geared towards jealously, anger, and resentment. It’s easy to get caught in that.”
“Yeah, it is easy to get caught in that,” I said. “I’ve said things to others that I later regretted and wished I kept to myself.”
“We’ve all done things we regret,” Chris said. “But you can’t live in the past. Life is lived here and now. If you are having a bad morning, regroup at lunch. If you have a bad day, regroup at the end of the day. Have periods where you take breaks. Stay away from checking emails or watching television too frequently. The way to counter the negativity is by consciously choosing to fill your life with productive actions. Take life one day, one step at a time.”
Jeff Davis is the award-winning author of Reach Your Mountaintop: 10 Keys to Finding the Hidden Opportunity in Your Setbacks, Flipping What You’ve Heard on Its Head, and Achieving Legendary Goals. Chris Salem is featured in chapter 3 of this book, next to 27 other world-renowned experts.
Christopher Salem is an author, international keynote speaker, prosperity coach, and wellness advocate.
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