“At the end of the day, remember that pain is healthy. Pain is a good thing. Pain reminds us of where we don’t want to go again. Pain shakes us awake.” – Brian Olds
I spoke with Brian Olds, social entrepreneur, master networker, professional speaker, and radio show host on a bitter cold, mid- February, Sunday afternoon in Baltimore, Maryland, at a diner off of Eastern Avenue on the outskirts of the city. I originally met him through Toastmasters while I was living in Baltimore and he’s turned into a lifelong friend. I traveled to Baltimore to meet in person with him, and it was well worth the four-and-a-half- to five- hour drive, because I absolutely love meeting face-to-face with others – especially with my good friend Brian. I teach others the importance of meeting with people face-to-face, and I can genuinely say I live my message.
“I’m doing a purge right now in my life,” Brian said as he sat and we started talking. “Simplifying, reducing, and focusing in on my most important goals. So this conversation comes at the perfect time.”
Brian is an entrepreneur, having created the organization called SKILLS, which stands for Sharing Knowledge and Information for Lifelong Success. He hosts a radio show, does events/seminars, actively speaks in the community, and passionately enjoys sharing practical knowledge, insight, and advice with the world. He also frequently connects business professionals with one another, taking the focus off of himself by helping others further their career. My friends, please know this man does it all, and he’s in his early thirties.
What I love so much about Brian is that he’s one of the most humble and sincere guys you will ever meet. He does so much for others but never takes the credit. For example, I was getting an enormous amount of rejections when I was looking for a publisher for my first book. I finally found a publisher because of a connection I made at one of Brian’s SKILLS events. The woman I met connected me with a publisher she knew. I hit it off with the publishing company, and the rest is history.
I thanked Brian profusely for being such a big motivator and inspiration in my life.
“I just acted as a conduit,” Brian said. “You’re the one who saw the opportunity and ran with it. It’s all you.”
The truth is, Brian has helped many people succeed in life. He’s a true social entrepreneur because he cares about the well- being of others from the bottom of his heart.
Brian’s core belief, and a big reason why he is so successful, is that when one person succeeds, everyone succeeds.
“A rising tide lifts all the boats in the harbor,” Brian added.
Only one word I have to say to that: WOW. You don’t have to think in terms of constant competition. You can think in terms of mutually beneficial solutions like Brian does.
SKILLS
Please note: Brian is now focused on the powerful business Black Speakers Network. The same mindset and principles that went into creating SKILLS also led to success with the Black Speakers Network.
“Tell me more about SKILLS,” I said. “You’ve done so much with this organization.”
“Initially I got a bunch of people together for a fundraiser for Morgan State University Toastmasters and more people showed up than I ever would have imagined,” Brian said. “I didn’t end up using SKILLS as a fundraising organization, but given the level of interest I was able to create in a relatively short period of time, I thought wow, this could be something.
“This happened in 2010. I knew I wanted to create something that would fill the gap in knowledge and skills that I perceived there to be for newer and younger professionals. In other words, folks who are graduating who have book knowledge like math, science, accounting, and other forms of general and important knowledge, but who don’t know the soft skills like how to effectively build relationships. These are the skills needed to be successful in life, and they were sort of glazed over in school. The purpose of SKILLS is to fill that gap,” Brian shared.
“That’s excellent and is really the perfect reason to create the organization,” I said. “This is amazing because it ties perfectly into the message I’m looking to get across with this book. It’s about learning the right skills to reach your Mountaintop, your version of success. These are skills no one ever shared with me in school, so I wholeheartedly agree they are often glazed over or not covered at all. So would you say soft skills like communication are more important than hard skills like book knowledge?”
“That’s a great question,” Brian said. “Without a doubt, book knowledge is an essential foundation that is needed to do well in certain professions. But the soft stuff is really the hard stuff, so I hesitate to call them ‘soft skills.’ For example, people with strong technical talent who have awesome engineering knowledge are off to a great start, but in order to advance and do well in their career, they’re going to need more than that.
“Regardless of what industry you are in, the soft stuff is the hard stuff. Being able to negotiate, size up other individuals, lead, communicate, stay productive, and properly manage time. Those skills help you to be a better you and make those around you better. Those are the skills that matter,” Brian explained.
“I agree,” I said. “I’m all for hard skills, and when I was in college and graduate school you’d see no one hitting the books harder than me, but there’s a whole other set of skills that often means the difference between success and failure.”
“Yes, well said,” Brian replied. “The minimum to get you in the door are the programming skills, the SEO, the marketing – whatever skills are specific to each person’s desired industry and career choice. However, to really make an impact, you have to be able to influence and persuade other people.”
Are you as excited as I am to hear more from Brian? This guy is the real deal.
Enjoy Your Life While Achieving Your Goals
“A lot of people get stressed out in the process of achieving their goals and making a transition into doing what they want,” I said. “It’s also tough to make that daily climb, with so many distractions. Is there any way around that?” I asked.
“Your goals should be aligned with those activities that you’re doing every day that bring you some level of fulfillment and enjoyment,” Brian said. “Your goal shouldn’t be some far off thing that happens at some predetermined time in the future. When your head hits the pillow, you need to think, wow, I did one thing today, and that one thing moved me towards my goal.
“The concept of enjoyment,” Brian continued, “should be examined a little closer. People feel most fulfilled when they accomplish something. Yes, vacation is good for relaxing. But you get that natural shot of norepinephrine when you get that feeling of achievement. The point is, fulfillment and happiness come from feeling valued, to seeing your dream come to life a little bit at a time.
“You should feel valued,” Brian continued. “If NOT, look at the dashboard of your life just like you look at the dashboard of a car. The dashboard provides indicators that something is wrong. If the check engine light comes on, but you don’t know what exactly it may be – for example, you are not fulfilled – then go under the hood and check it out. That could include reflection, meditation, introspection, dialogue with close family members/friends, and things of that sort. When you ignore the check engine light for too long, you break down on the side of the road. For some people, this could be 20 years after the initial check engine light came on and they wonder what the heck happened, but the truth is they never checked under the hood.”
“That’s incredibly powerful stuff, Brian,” I said. “I’m so excited to share this.”
“Remember that pain can be a good thing, too,” Brian said. “Because it shakes us awake and reminds us where not to go. We want to enjoy life while achieving our goals, but we also want to remember that pain has a purpose and can be beneficial in its own way. That’s why we must face our challenges directly.”
Multi-tasking is a Myth
“I’ve interviewed some experts on time management,” I said, “and I can’t help but ask you while I have you here, as you are an expert as well – what are the best ways to manage your time, especially when managing challenges and constraints?”
“For me,” Brian articulated, “time management is all about avoiding redundancy whenever possible. At the micro level, avoiding redundancy is having the appropriate systems in place to capture, share, and retrieve information as quickly as possible. Do the things today that will save you time tomorrow.
“Evernote is perfect because it syncs everything for you. One key that helps me a lot is to process most things right then and there. Most people put things into the ‘will do’ pile and then never get to it. But if you focus on one thing at a time, you can plow through lots of work. Tim Ferriss calls it single-handling. Just touch things once if possible, and then be done with it.
“We have such an absurd amount of things going on at once,” Brian added, “that it can be hard to know what to take action on when making the climb. Text messages, meetings, bumping into people we know, action items from meetings, emails, phone calls: some of these inputs are immediately actionable, and some of these inputs are questions that need to be asked or decisions that need to be made. For some inputs, you may have no idea what to do, and for other inputs, you may have projects in motion with multiple steps behind them.
“Here’s the key to remember,” Brian added. “Multi-tasking is a myth. The brain can only focus on one thing at a time. There’s a cognitive penalty for switching from one thing to another (even if only for a few seconds). We all have about 21 projects going on, give or take. You have to think about archiving certain projects and then giving your full attention and focus to your most desired goal. After a couple months of work, it is easy to forget about these other side projects. But if you are organized and on top of your folders/documents you can retrieve what you need in the future. Get all of your ideas down so you can clear your mind. Only then will you be able to give your full energy and attention to that one thing that could change your life.”
Brian’s insights serve to give you that added reminder and push to stay really focused.
Parting Words of Wisdom
“The soft stuff is the hard stuff,” Brian reiterated. “We need more people who aren’t afraid to be themselves. It’s important they TRULY be themselves, giving themselves the permission to tap into the thing that got them excited when they were five years old. I say this because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable here. I grew up watching cartoons like Gargoyles, excited about science, technology, engineering, and space shuttle launches.
“I don’t think my calling is to be an engineer, but I know I need to be tapped into that area at some level,” Brian communicated. “If I didn’t end up getting a scholarship to go to college, I would have gone into the Air Force. It doesn’t matter what you do professionally, that bliss inside you is always there. You won’t be truly happy, fulfilled, and enjoying the journey until you have embraced that and given yourself permission to be the person you’re meant to be.
“As a corollary to that, I’ve noticed that a lot of books say, hey, you need to make this massive change, but I don’t think that’s the case. In a lot of cases, there is an opportunity to tap into your authentic self within what you are already doing. You don’t have to quit your job; you don’t even have to start a business. If it leads to these things, then that’s great. But the truth is that the world needs people to be their authentic self.
“It doesn’t matter if you are a receptionist, a janitor, a waiter, or any other kind of profession – when you give yourself permission to be your authentic self, the outcome is not replicable anywhere on the entire planet,” Brian continued. “For example, I recently witnessed a woman cutting meat at Shoppers ask the person in front of me in line why she ordered what she ordered.
“After receiving an answer the woman cutting the meat went on to say, ‘You know, we have this other type of ham with less sodium that will perfectly meet your needs.’ I stood there thinking, wow, I’ve never seen anyone get consultative advice about lunch meat. That person wasn’t just doing a job; they were bringing their full selves into what they do. When you are authentically you, then the promotion, marketing, and growth – all those things we want – naturally occur.
“When your head hits the pillow, you want to think, ok, this was a great day, and I can’t wait for tomorrow. The days when I think, wow, what a great day, were the days when I had a meeting the morning after not wanting to get out of bed. I was stretched out of my comfort zone and allowed myself to operate on the fringe of fear long enough to do what was required on that day,” Brian said.
“From the outside looking in,” Brian further explained, “someone could be like, oh, that’s not that scary. But when you are in the middle of it all, it’s a lot. And it’s scary. You know you are heading in the right direction when you are a slightly better version of yourself than when you took your head off the pillow that morning. And this only happens when we have genuine opportunities for growth.
“If something is not working, re-examine it. Continue to reflect. Take time out to give yourself a breather so that you can unwind, enjoy life, and process everything,” Brian said.
Simply invaluable and incredibly helpful words from Brian. They will help us as we continue to move forward and reach our Mountaintop.
Questions for Reflection
- What “soft” skill is your weak point? What organization can you join to improve your communication and leadership skills? Toastmasters? Kiwanis? Lions? Rotary?
- What indicator is on in the dashboard of your life right now? What area of your life needs to be more closely examined?
- What activity caused you joy and bliss as a child? How can you reconnect with this childlike sense of wonder, imagination, purpose, hope, and possibility?
Brian Olds was featured in chapter 8 of the award-winning book Reach Your Mountaintop: 10 Keys to Finding the Hidden Opportunity in Your Setbacks, Flipping What You’ve Heard on Its Head, and Achieving Legendary Goals.
Leave a Reply