Brian Olds is an entrepreneur, speaker, and powerful networker. He loves helping others by facilitating introductions and connecting people to each other. Brace yourself, as Brian is a heavy hitter when it comes to insightful wisdom that will uplift you and your life. Let’s continue to understand ourselves at a deeper level.
What Are You Avoiding? Look at the Way Things Really Are
“One of my favorite quotes of all-time,” Brian said, “by Ayn Rand, is ‘You can avoid reality, but you can’t avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.’ That’s all I’m trying to do here. Get people to look at reality, the way things are. Everyone has negative things that have happened to them; some are relatively bad, some are extremely bad; but the point is not to run from those experiences, nor try to push them down or forget about them.
“The point is to ask, what can I learn from this? Forget about the people who owe you money, forget about the lost time; the only thing you have now is the next moment, the next moment, the next moment.
“Rather than freak out and turn molehills into mountains like most people, when a situation of any kind arises, ask yourself: How big a deal is this really? How can I learn from it? What can I do next in spite of it?”
As Brian spoke, I intently listened to everything he said. My philosophy in life is that there is a hidden opportunity in every setback and Brian understands that as well as anybody. Brian is helping us to realize that our core authenticity stems from bravely acknowledging, facing, and processing our difficult moments just as much as it stems from acknowledging, facing, and processing our joyous moments. Authentic leaders shed their ego and face reality as it is.
“As long as you don’t lie, cheat, or steal, and as long as you operate with integrity, there’s nothing you can do that can’t be fixed,” Brian said. “You will fail at times; you will let someone down; you will let yourself down. What I’ve found is that rather than get hung up on short-term failures and successes, it’s the will and desire to keep moving forward that really matters.”
Brian’s words of wisdom are priceless. This is what separates the winners from the losers in life – the ability to keep moving forward and make the climb no matter what. Be unstoppable. Be a leader. Be the first in your family to do something. Help improve a societal condition, which will cause you to change the course of human history even if you don’t realize it in the moment. Forget the naysayers. Continue to create epic opportunities in your journey.
“Another quote I love is by Mario Andretti,” Brian said. “Mario said, ‘If it feels like everything is in control, you’re not going fast enough.’” (That’s another thing I love about Brian: he’s a quote lover like I am.)
“If you’re not putting yourself in a position to potentially fail,” Brian said, “then you are probably not doing anything that’s going to build a legacy and create opportunity for others.”
I shared with Brian my own struggle involving a girl I deeply loved from college. We were considered by everybody to be the perfect couple and I went out with her for nearly three years. One day she showed up at my apartment and out of the clear blue sky, without giving me a reason, unexpectedly dumped me. Please know that I am completely keeping it in perspective, and I would never in a million years compare my struggles to someone else’s setbacks. In fact, that’s one of the things that got me past the constant anxiety and feeling down – staying grateful for what I have and staying occupied working on valuable projects.
With Brian, I feel comfortable sharing different aspects of my life without worrying about being judged. This is not something I would usually share with others and I know breaking up with someone in the grand scheme of things can seem not that big of a deal. With that said, it’s still a struggle I had to deal with and even after more than several years past the breakup, I still find myself struggling with it. I feel like I never got closure because it went from us being a madly-in-love couple to being broken up, with no in-between. To this day, I don’t know why she did it and I don’t talk to her anymore.
Of course, I completely forgive her, and I wish her well, but it will always hurt me because I don’t know what I did wrong. We never fought and I constantly treated her like gold. Neither of us were perfect, but overall it was a healthy relationship. It’s not that I hide this from others, as I’m one of the most honest and transparent people you will ever meet; it’s that I tend to focus on the positive with others and don’t want to share my problems too frequently. But every now and then we come across people such as Brian who give us the gift of listening, and when you find someone like Brian, sharing our deepest and most embarrassing anxieties is alright. I have a new girlfriend now and all is well.
“I hear you,” Brian said. “Breakups are not easy. At the end of the day, though, remember that pain is healthy. Pain is a good thing. Pain reminds us of where we don’t want to go again. Pain shakes us awake.
“I’m at the point now where I embrace it all. If I did my job or ran my business without making mistakes, then I would be doing myself an injustice. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Ninety percent of what I do for Aerotek as a Diversity Consultant has never been done before or not been done in the specific way that I need to do it, so I’m entering into the unknown each and every day. And that’s what I love about it.”
“You are filled with wisdom, Brian,” I said. “I can directly relate to what you are saying here. While growing my business, I went into some debt. It wasn’t the end of the world, but for a while, I was ignoring the warning signs. But when I faced reality exactly as it was, I got smarter with my spending decisions. I bought fewer self-help programs and became more careful with where I put my money. That turned things around for me, and your wisdom will do the same for others.”
At the time of this interview discussion, Brian Olds worked for Aerotek. He’s now the legendary founder and CEO of Black Speakers Network. He was featured in chapter 8 of the award-winning book Reach Your Mountaintop: 10 Keys to Finding the Hidden Opportunity in Your Setbacks, Flipping What You’ve Heard on Its Head, and Achieving Legendary Goals.
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