The best parts of yourself exist where you are most afraid to look.
– Michael Benner
This next person I interviewed, Michael Benner, is the perfect person to come next as you climb your own Mountain and create your own version of success because he is one of the world’s experts in emotional intelligence. Research shows that emotional intelligence is the number one key indicator of success in the workplace. I recently saw well-known author, speaker, and social media expert, Gary Vaynerchuk, on the Good Day New York TV show say that he was a D and F student, but has built a multi-million dollar (and soon to be billion dollar) business with his emotional intelligence as the backbone.
As we establish and expand upon a strong emotional, mental, and spiritual foundation, you will find Michael’s words to complement and build upon what we’ve already talked about quite well.
Michael is in his sixties, and let me tell you: his energy, knowledge, intelligence, and overall demeanor is that of someone in their thirties or forties. A big reason why I wanted to talk to Michael is because of the depth of his expertise. He has spent more than thirty years in the personal development field through radio shows, podcasts, and all sorts of coaching and other programs. He knows the power of understanding yourself. I first found out about Michael from my father who loved and frequently listened to Michael’s radio show in Los Angeles, California, for many years.
“It’s all about self-awareness,” Michael said. “There is an intuitive wisdom in everything that hurts, irritates, and frustrates us. There is an understanding that is enfolded within negative feelings.”
Emotional intelligence is a term first coined by Daniel Goleman. In today’s fast-paced and hectic world, it’s more important than ever.
“In business and in success, an emotional quotient (EQ) is five times more important than an intelligence quotient (IQ). Social skills and how you get along with other people is much more important than your SAT score or your grade transcript from college,” Michael said. “Do you know how to shake hands and make eye contact? Do you know how to listen intently, generate charisma, and create magnetism with other people? Do you have the qualities of a leader that would make other people want to follow you and do what you suggest? These are all much more about emotional intelligence than mental intelligence.”
“I agree completely,” I said. “I received good grades in school, and I have an analytical mind. With that said, I can genuinely say my ability to get ahead in my speaking career has to do with listening to others and creating a connection. Of course, it’s not about me, it’s about helping others, but I found the irony is that the more I seek to serve others, the more good things come my way. And I’m always learning more from people like you. Would you please dive even further into emotional intelligence and how to develop it?”
“There are two basic parts to emotional intelligence,” Michael said. “The first part is to know thyself; to understand the WHY behind your thoughts, actions, and behaviors. We have all heard of the W’s: who, what, when, where, why and how. The ‘why’ is emotional in nature and it tends to be overlooked, but it’s a crucial part of the equation of your life.”
The why is crucial because it will help you to understand your responses to various people and situations better. (Mike Shelah discussed finding your why in the previous chapter.) This is Michael’s big lesson, and it’s crucial to living the Mountaintop life. Understand yourself, get to know the why behind your choices and decisions, and focus more on your response to the world rather than on the stimulus.
I can apply Michael’s powerful lessons to my own life, and I wish I had been exposed to him at an earlier age! When I was in high school, I had the passion and energy. What was lacking was my ability to take full ownership of my responses to other people. I would love to blame (sometimes consciously, sometimes without even thinking about it) society, my teachers, my friends, my parents, my teammates, and anyone else I could think of for areas of my life that were unhappy. But the truth is that I was the one fully responsible for my life.
To be clear, this does not mean I was responsible for the mean and hurtful actions of other people. I’m sure you can probably relate to encountering some real jerks from time to time. What Michael is saying here, and what I’ve learned over time, is that it’s not about what someone else does to you, but how you respond that counts. You have more power over how you feel than you may have initially realized.
Thankfully, you can use these time-tested strategies to turn weird and dysfunctional situations to your advantage. Sometimes anxiety, confusion, and stress, which we all experience as human beings, shroud us from getting to know our true selves. Let these insights allow you to alleviate some of the pressure you put on yourself. Let’s not derail ourselves, our success, and our impact by continuing to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.
There are multiple paths to greatness. One path may not work, but there are many paths to your Mountaintop. Don’t worry about other people judging you as weird. Focus more instead on your response to the situation and what you can do to move forward. Successful people put being true to themselves first.
As a freshman and sophomore at McDaniel College, I was continuing to go after my baseball dreams. I was on the college baseball team as a recruit athlete, but I didn’t get any playing time. Already feeling a bit down, I heard of the opportunity to study abroad at McDaniel’s main abroad campus in Budapest, Hungary. Most baseball players don’t study abroad, but I jumped at the opportunity to make my college career more fun and exciting.
Here I am now, about a decade later, sharing with others how I found the hidden opportunity in my setback and how they can do the same. My college baseball experience, while painful at the time, was an awesome catalyst to this lifelong personal development practice to which I’ve dedicated myself. I was reluctant to go my own way because I genuinely wanted to please my coach. But when I finally realized that I was living my life to please a guy who wasn’t going to give me playing time anyways, I mustered up the courage to study abroad for a whole year – which ended up being one of the best decisions of my life, giving me the enriching college experience I both wanted and deserved. And if I can find the silver lining in an unwanted situation, I’m certain you can as well.
People will try to limit you, consciously and unconsciously. Be respectful, but refuse to allow other people to dictate your life’s direction or to make a decision for you.
I am honored that you’ve made it this far into the book, and you’re reading these words. Please know you, the reader, truly are one of the special ones. In this book, I am using my own experiences as examples to help you. This journey that we are taking together through this book is about you and getting to your next level.
What we can all learn from Michael is that we can continuously evolve, become more patient with life, and stay grounded while exploring our purpose. With practice, we can learn not to let people get the best of us (like when they push our hot buttons, and we react reflexively, for example). This is all about being true to ourselves. Reaching our Mountaintop is about doing what’s best for us instead of constantly seeking to please and to conform to other people’s wishes and demands.
For example, to show I’m actively living the message of what I write, in order to finish this book in a reasonable amount of time, I left a lucrative consulting opportunity. Remember what I said earlier in this book about money being only one small factor of our success and oftentimes not the main factor? If I had most, if not all, of my focus on the consulting, then I would not have been able to bring my full self to this book. I want to make 100% sure that you have the best content possible in your hands to apply to your life and reach your Mountaintop. I don’t want to be distracted by other people’s agendas.
My biggest pet peeve is when people don’t live their message, so I make sure that I’m following every little thing these experts are sharing with us, down to the tiniest detail. I’m definitely not perfect, and I often feel like I come up short, but I always do my best to apply these lessons in my own life.
Seeking to apply one kernel of insight in your life is one million times better than saying one thing and doing another. The smallest of actions is better than the biggest of false promises. Dreaming is wonderful and makes life tolerable, but you must follow-up on your dream with action. Do the work. Put in the time. Your future self will thank you.
What is also incredibly helpful and powerful from Michael’s teachings is to favor quality over quantity. The depth of your impact matters more than the quantity of your impact. It’s absolutely wonderful to reach many people at once, but remember that the quality of your impact is what counts the most.
Being a real person – someone of character and integrity – means caring deeply about individual needs and wants. Listen to others and genuinely help them without a hidden agenda. This is what leadership and true success are all about. It’s emotional intelligence. That’s reaching your Mountaintop.
More on Emotional Intelligence
“The second part of emotional intelligence,” Michael said, “is relationship management and the ability to substitute knee-jerk reactions with even-tempered, well-reasoned, conscious choices. This is really the heart and soul of emotional intelligence. Being able to do this in the moment, when around other people, in practical application, is the key. Eighty percent of our behavior is based on our emotions, and yet most of us aren’t in touch with our emotions. Spend time actually getting to know yourself and become aware of the kind of responses you want to create. This will then make it easier to recall those even-keeled responses in the moment, even when you feel those same old emotions of frustration and anger boiling to the surface.”
Michael talked about the reflexive knee-jerk behavior that we’ve all been guilty of at some point in our lives. The vast majority of the time, we think about our behavior afterward and realize that we didn’t represent our best selves.
“If you are in a truly dangerous situation,” Michael said, “and you are in fight or flight mode, then fine, but if it is routine stress that is causing you to behave reactively, then that’s not a good place to make decisions.”
And most of the time, it’s really routine stress that eats at us. Yes, there are absolutely going to be crises that arise, but if you dig a little more deeply, you will see the culprit to be the daily stress, not the one-off crazy situations.
For the record, as we discuss this, let me tell you that I am learning as much about this as you are. I have made plenty of mistakes in terms of blurting out things I didn’t mean, saying things I later regretted, or doing things to hurt other people emotionally. I absolutely would never hurt anyone physically – I’m talking about emotional hurt. I’m an honest, loyal, and loving person, but when someone hurts me deeply my tendency is to want to say something that will hurt them back. What we’re both learning from Michael is to be a better version of ourselves than we were in the past by learning and growing every day.
Recently, I was unexpectedly left hanging high and dry by two people who I thought to be good friends (these were two separate incidents not connected to each other). I easily could have said some hurtful insults to them, but I decided to be the bigger person and let it go. I can genuinely and sincerely say I applied Michael’s teachings in my life. You no longer need to let other people get the best of you. You can find the silver lining, learn the lesson, and be the bigger person.
Michael’s words on his personal development podcasts have helped me time and time again, and that’s why I’m so incredibly excited to be sharing them here with you right now. Michael has a calm, centered presence that rubs off on others. It was an honor to meet him in La Crescenta-Montrose, California during one of his enlightening seminars.
I serve as a humble conduit between you and these successful leaders. It’s my genuine and sincere intention to give you the knowledge, tools, information, and inspiration necessary to help you move to the next level in your life, whatever that next level may mean for you. Reaching your Mountaintop is about harnessing and refining your responses to life so that you are constantly growing towards that next level.
We are all equal. Yes, we all have different talents, abilities, and strengths, but our self-worth is infinite, and that makes us all equal. Please realize that you are equal to all of these experts here in this book. Before you know it, you’ll be the one giving advice to others.
Finding the Right Mix in Your Life
“It all starts with your thoughts,” Michael said. “The driver of your life is what you care about, and the results are seen in your behavior. If you go straight from emotions to behavior, it’s like stepping on the gas with no steering wheel. If you have a thought and no emotion, then the car will be pointed in the right direction, but you will just sit there idling.”
Michael laid out a solution for us to consider implementing in our own lives. The following is a mix of Michael’s commentary and my own. The first sentence in each point is Michael, and the remaining explanation is my own.
- Get pointed in the right direction. This doesn’t mean you have to be absolutely 100% crystal clear in every single area of your life, but you must, at the very least, have a general idea of where you’re headed.
- Care about what you’re doing. Believe in your life’s purpose and establish habits to build around that purpose. Then persevere each day, which is the equivalent of channeling your emotions and pushing on the gas pedal to move forward. Don’t let other people deter you or cause you to doubt yourself.
- NOW you can begin moving forward with your achievements. Literally, on this day, create time to work on your goals and dreams. If you are occupied today due to an obligation or prior commitment, then create time in the very near future to move forward and hold yourself to that commitment no matter what.
“The leaders are the women and men who figured this out,” Michael said. “They figured out bad decisions and missed opportunities come from a stressed and scattered mind.”
This is where the theme of this book comes into play yet again, as will often happen as we dive into the heart of each of these champions: working hard and moving forward with your goals while enjoying life at the same time is possible when you have not only the right mindset, authenticity, and leadership capabilities, but also a firm understanding of emotional intelligence. When you are moving forward with your goals on a daily basis, you will find it easier to handle the ups and downs of life because you are more centered. And when you are truly in the present moment, you will be able to manage your schedule better and focus on one thing at a time, which is what we were talking about earlier in terms of taking action and following through.
The beauty is that when the time comes to be with friends and family, you won’t be distracted by what you should have done with your goals and purpose. How you do one thing is how you do everything, so when you become more emotionally intelligent and laser-focused on what you care about the most, other areas of your life (such as family life), will start to fall into place serendipitously. It won’t happen all at once, and there will certainly be setbacks along the way, but it’s definitely an achievable way of life with a little practice and persistence.
Awareness
“You can only help others if you first manage yourself,” Michael said. “And you manage yourself by becoming aware. You can become aware of being aware. You can also become conscious of your consciousness. How do you find the elevated perspective? By taking a step back and rising above yourself. When you learn to do this, you then become more objective and more conscious. This is what higher consciousness and expanded awareness are all about.
“You can watch your thought processes and watch your feelings unfold with a higher level of understanding, realizing that certain feelings are just temporary storms,” Michael emphasized.
You are a bright and intelligent individual, so let’s go down the rabbit hole even further here:
“Awareness corresponds to spiritual love,” Michael continued. “Awareness, or consciousness, is the spiritual love that transcends emotional turbulence. The soul is above and free of form with an elevated perspective. We can tap into the wisdom of our soul and communicate with it. That’s where the intuition comes from. Then we become wiser than the full-blown thinking mind that drives us crazy. Full-blown ideas burst into awareness and arise with a ‘That’s it! That’s the answer I was looking for!’ These answers are all thought out and provided for us. That’s the true self, above all of our frustrations.”
Remember – the way to get in touch with this true self is to calm the emotions and still the mind. This is not always easy, but as we’re learning from Michael, it’s very possible. Reaching your Mountaintop is a process, a continual state of improvement, and it takes daily practice and discipline. There’s no such thing as getting there. It’s really about taking life one day, one step, at a time and learning along the way. The catch-22 here is that it’s not a walk in the park, but it’s easier than you might initially have thought, once you get going.
What this means in practical application is that if you sit around looking at a huge dream without doing anything, it’s going to seem incredibly overwhelming. But if you get going and take steps forward, even if they are baby steps, you’ll gain momentum and begin to conquer seemingly formidable obstacles.
“Don’t think you have to have everything all figured out to get the process in motion,” Michael said. “Most people think they have to have a still and calm mind to meditate, but they have it backward. You meditate to calm the mind. This is where we can then get in touch with our intuition.”
“And reflection,” I said, “reflection is key as well.”
“Yes, well said,” Michael affirmed. “The ability to reflect, to be aware that we are aware, is a special gift. Some would argue that’s what it means to be made in the image of God. Roughly speaking, we’ve only had electric lights for 130 years; cars and planes for about 100 years; and we just got here as human beings, relative to the age of the universe. It seems that the essence of who we are is something we are just figuring out. The truth of who we are stands above our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. We can identify with that and be a higher level of awareness, and from there see the big picture.”
The Illusion
“I joke with my friends that time is an illusion,” I said to Michael. “It’s an inside joke. But we mean it when we say it to one another, as we sincerely believe and know time is an illusion.”
“Yes,” Michael said. “And materialism is an illusion as well. We have to recognize that even if materialism is an illusion, it’s a remarkable illusion. And even though we know time is an illusion, the Dalai Lama wears a Rolex® and carries a day planner.”
This is absolutely not, in any way, shape, or form, taking away from the people who are immersed in time. In fact, it’s doing just the opposite – it’s establishing that we all live in time and must deal with it on a practical basis. Michael is not telling you to ditch your day planner; rather, he is suggesting to maintain your day planner and daily to-dos within a higher level of conscious awareness. It is from this elevated perspective that we make better choices, have less stress, and stay true to the center of who we are.
This is what will help to ensure that you are reaching YOUR Mountaintop, your version of success.
Don’t think that this has to be complicated. Yes, it takes time, yes it requires patience, but it all starts with one moment: this moment. Observe your breath. Become more conscious. Wake yourself up.
“There are people who have been meditating their entire lives and yet they still continue to practice it each day,” Michael said. “Watch your breath the same way you’d watch the waves roll in and out.”
This is not a one-off, quick-fix tip – it’s a habit and daily discipline you will grow with time. If meditation works for you, great. And if there is something else you do that gets you in touch with yourself, that’s great too. The point here is not to get rigorously attached to some dogma or way of doing things; it’s to get in touch with yourself by finding your own truth and doing what works for you. Once you are fully in touch with yourself, you will be able to manage yourself better within this illusion called life.
“It’s a paradox,” Michael said. “No two fingerprints are alike, yet diversity stems from unity. We must get comfortable with the relative nature of life. God is absolute, but life is relative.”
The Hidden Gift
“You are always connected to God,” Michael said. “Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Think of thoughts as being submitted to your awareness for your approval. What you do with those thoughts is up to you. If you want to accept them, reject them, or replace them, it’s your choice.”
Once again, Michael’s wisdom is profound. I’ve often heard it said that you are responsible for every one of your thoughts. I disagree; you are not necessarily responsible for every single thought that comes to your awareness, as random thoughts pop up all the time, but you are responsible for what you do with those thoughts. That’s why Michael’s words of wisdom make sense.
Fear often causes us to lose sight of that connection we all have with one another. Here is Michael’s take on fear:
“Fear,” Michael said, “is a feeling or set of feelings we don’t understand about a situation or ourselves, dangerous or not. If you are still afraid and just don’t know why, it is fear you don’t understand or know about yourself or your situation. But all fear is fear of the unknown; it’s the brain’s appeal for a better understanding. The antidote to fear is self-awareness; you can learn to be more aware, bring your attention into the present moment, and train yourself to become conscious of the temptation to be distracted by the past or the future. Continually bring yourself back to the present moment and you will better understand and work through fear.
“This awareness is what allows you to stay connected; it’s the antidote to all forms of fear: worry, doubt, apprehension, etc. All negative feelings, everything that hurts, irritates, or frustrates us, are forms of fear. Fear is not just one negative feeling. It includes all the different variations of negative feelings and emotions that arise. Look underneath the hood! If your heart hurts, it’s an indication of something deeper you don’t understand about yourself. Understand yourself better and the heartache goes away. If the negative feeling persists it means there are more presents underneath the tree; you didn’t get all of your gifts. So repeat the process and look at the feeling again,” Michael explained.
What Michael said here is so incredibly powerful that it’s worth repeating and emphasizing: if the negative feeling persists it means there are more presents underneath the tree. This is a profound and remarkable insight, and not one to discard easily. What this means is underneath all of the negativity, anger, and frustration is a peaceful state of understanding and awareness. Anything that causes you grief can lead to more wisdom and understanding when you bring it into the light of your conscious awareness.
I was recently in Europe for vacation, and in the middle of a beautiful, sunny, warm day, I suddenly found myself angry and upset with the baseball situations of my past. At first, I started to judge myself for thinking about this because I thought it was something I was completely over, but then I remembered Michael’s words and realized it was an opportunity to better understand both the situation and myself at a deeper level. Instead of resisting the feeling, I consciously breathed in and out. I also shared my feelings with someone close to me to help release the negativity. The strategies worked, and I ended up realizing that the less-than-kind actions of my teammates had nothing to do with me – it was about their personality and character. The peace that ensued came because I faced the feelings directly.
Before we leave this section, let’s let Michael drive the point home:
“The power, the incredible insight in our negative feelings,” he said, “is that enfolded within them is a gift. Negative feelings are your higher self’s way of getting your attention and teaching you more about yourself and the situation you may find yourself in. Sit quietly in an expanded state of awareness, look at the feeling, and it will expose itself to you. When you get the full understanding, the hurt will go away. I emphasize that if the negative feeling persists, it means there is a part of you that is carrying and holding onto it.”
You Have Options
One of the best lessons I learned from Michael through years of listening to his radio shows and podcasts is that you have options. Most of the time, you have more options than you may have initially realized.
The solution to your challenge may not necessarily be cut and dry. It may be a different permutation and combination of solutions than you were initially thinking. Remembering that you have options, and becoming aware of different choices you can make increases your level of freedom. It is a normal emotion to feel like you are trapped in your current situation. Michael is saying when you really sit down to analyze the possibilities and opportunities, more options will come to you. A big theme of this book and Mountaintop-level life is knowing you always have a choice.
You may not end up going with plan A, B, or C. Instead, you may go with plan X, Y, or Z. Gregg Chase, a screenwriter, creative director, designer, and former coworker of mine, supports our discussion. Like Michael, Gregg knows the power of going with additional options. I mention Gregg here because he referenced Plan Z to me in the past and I thought it was a brilliant concept.
Step Away From It All and Reduce Your Stress
Before we wrap up this chapter with some parting shots from Michael, I’m going to add in some excellent insight from Christine Southworth, a speaker and stress reduction expert. Her tips are about really taking control of your emotions and remaining even- keeled.
“Multi-tasking leads directly to stress,” Christine emphasized.
I laughed because I was multi-tasking the entire morning before we spoke.
“Yes, I multi-task more often that I’d like to admit,” I said.
“Don’t feel bad,” Christine said. “Multi-tasking is the norm for most. People feel guilty if they’re not connected to technology 24/7. But the key to stress reduction is to step away from that stuff. People don’t take the time to be alone and to be mindful, and that’s why their minds are running at increasingly dizzying speeds.”
“Very well put,” I said, “and similar to what some of the other experts I’ve talked with said. It’s no wonder you are successful. Speaking of which, what are some strategies one can apply to reach their Mountaintop, their own version of success, without feeling so overwhelmed?”
“It’s medically proven that mindfulness and meditation for ten minutes a day restructures the brain and makes you less reactive,” Christine said. “And equally importantly, it makes you less receptive to stress.”
“That’s a great reminder,” I said, “because my friend, Michael Benner, was saying the exact same thing. I’ve been applying it, but not as much as I need to.”
“I understand that,” Christine said. “It’s hard to find the time, and it’s normal to have a lot going on. Just gently guide yourself back to finding ten minutes a day to meditate, or even for taking deep, conscious breaths. It will significantly improve your health in more ways than one.
“Meditating is scary to some people, but really it’s just breathing. Just breathe. You can do it with a cup of coffee. Use your senses.”
This simple yet incredibly powerful strategy from Christine will increase your personal effectiveness while making you happier, healthier, and more aware. She and Michael are both outstanding emotional intelligence experts! Let us always remember that intelligently managing our emotions is vital each day of our lives.
Partings Shots
“Where do you get your youthful enthusiasm and passion for life?” I asked Michael.
“Consciousness doesn’t age,” Michael said. “I may be in my sixties, but I still feel like I did when I was twenty.”
“Any parting words of wisdom?” I asked.
“Yes,” Michael said. “Visualization for attaining goals is helpful. And speaking of goals, if you find yourself getting bored with your goals or life, just think of it as another distracted thought. Bored is nothing more than a decision to quit. Don’t have unrealistic expectations about other people. Rather, turn the attention; focus within on how you can better yourself, become more conscious, and practice even-keeled responses.”
Michael’s words are so powerful; a big problem in my younger years is that I expected too much from people and thus was constantly let down. But when I traveled through Europe I learned to go with the flow of each moment and see where it took me. I learned when you are centered within yourself, happiness and peace will find you. But when you are constantly searching for the answers, the potential for freedom and liberation will elude you.
This book is about reaching your Mountaintop. And within reaching your Mountaintop, the key kernel is to become more conscious. Becoming conscious is really about focusing on what’s in your control. You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself. This is the beauty of the reach-your-Mountaintop process – you no longer have to be dependent on the whims and fancies of others. You can stay calm, centered, and focused, ready to do the improbable.
“Thank God Michael Jordan didn’t quit after just three attempts,” Michael said. “A lot of people give up on improving their awareness because they find it too difficult. People are so familiar with their fear, stress, and anxiety that they really don’t want to give it up. Many people would rather have fear and suffering that is familiar than the understanding and peace that is new and different.
“My biggest encouragement is to become more mindful and aware in each moment of life. Notice that most people’s small talk is a never-ending appeal for sympathy. Without the suffering, people would have nothing to talk about. Gossip, which is talking about other people, should be avoided at all costs. Eleanor Roosevelt explained to the world how great minds talk about ideas; mediocre minds talk about events; and small minds talk about other people. Train yourself to talk about ideas rather than other people.
“Sadly, most adult conversation has degenerated into gossip. People are making a choice to do that. No one is doing it to them; rather, their choice to gossip is their response to the world. Change your response and watch your whole day, week, month, and year unfold differently.
“Finally, you must really look at what is bothering you,” Michael continued. “You must really, truly face it. No pretending and no faking. You must really face that pain and suffering. If you allow yourself truly to feel it and face it, you will find yourself finally being open to getting past it. You die to the pain and thus transcend the pain. The real pain is in the resistance. The more you resist, the tighter you grab the pain and suffering. But there is wisdom in letting your thoughts and feelings just be as they are, observing them from a detached perspective. Instead of worrying about letting go, just focus on your breath and breathe into the moment. Breathe into that tension. Doesn’t it feel good?”
“Michael – I’m speechless. Your wisdom is legendary, to say the least,” I said.
I love how Michael’s lessons strike that balance between being focused and working on goals while being truly in the present moment and liberating yourself. In a practical and legitimate way, you can enjoy the journey on the way to your goal and your Mountaintop.
“Don’t think that you will be happy someday. Happiness is the way to your goal. Most people think that achieving a goal is the way to becoming happy, but the truth is becoming happy is the way to achieving a goal,” Michael said.
Once again, Michael’s words ring true. Instead of carrying the entire world on your shoulders, seek to be calm and happy in the present moment. Achieve this and you will no longer live each day feeling overwhelmed.
“If it gets really bad for you at times, then take life one breath at a time,” Michael said. “Break it down moment by moment. That’s where you will find your freedom.”
And that, my friends, is the epitome of emotional intelligence when it comes to moving forward with your goals while enjoying and revolutionizing life – reaching your Mountaintop without stressing or feeling burned out.
Emotional Intelligence is Essential
There you have it: Michael and Christine emphasized how incredibly important it is to take control of your responses, harness your emotions, become aware, establish a stress reduction process (like meditation and mindfulness), and give yourself time to breathe.
Reaching your Mountaintop is not about doing everything at once. Yes, you need a general sense of urgency in knowing that your time here on the planet is short, but maintain a sense of calmness. Being in control of your emotions is the cornerstone of a Mountaintop-level way of life. Just because someone has treated you unfairly does not mean you need to stoop to their level. Be the bigger person.
P.S. Check out Michael’s new book, Fearless Intelligence.
Questions for Reflection
- What are your hot buttons and pet peeves? How can you stay more in control when someone does something to you which you don’t like?
- What are some ways that work for you to increase your level of awareness and consciousness? Talking to a friend? Going on a walk? Watching an inspiring movie? Something else?
- What time of the day works best for you to take ten to fifteen minutes (or whatever amount of time works best for you) of personal reflection, solitude, and/or meditation time?
Michael Benner was featured in chapter 5 of the award-winning book Reach Your Mountaintop. You can learn more about him on his website.
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