HR Acuity found in their research that workplace harassment and misconduct affect 52% of employees. That’s more than half of all employees, globally. This is an unthinkable number.
More than half of those affected by bullying have had more serious challenges related to being bullied.
Workplace bullying is a global challenge, and me and my colleague Daryl Woodhouse are on a mission to fix that and reverse this tragic trend. If you’re experiencing this, you’re certainly not alone. This is trend of bullying is deeply upsetting, but the good news is that we can solve this.
A Difficult Story About Workplace Bullying
I’d like to lead with vulnerability here by saying that I’ve been bullied in the workplace many times. I thought bullying was going to end after high school and college, but that wasn’t the case.
I lived in The Netherlands for the last six years and faced a lot of difficult workplace experiences there (for the record, workplace bullying happens in every country, not just The Netherlands). Sadly, I have many stories. I’ll share one with you here.
Encountering a Difficult Person While Working For An Iconic Brand
I went to work for the European headquarters of a global, iconic brand. This was after I defeated a corrupt company in a brutal legal battle. Tired from an insane battle with dysfunctional people, I chose my next workplace carefully. This particular company, and this office in The Netherlands, had won workplace awards for it being a good place to work, so I thought I was making a great choice.
While working there, I experienced a very difficult colleague on my team. This particular person was a woman (please note: workplace bullying can come from anyone, regardless of their gender).
Enmeshed in workplace politics, this particular individual was in the middle of a lot of conflict. I heard some horror stories from colleagues. While I have empathy for the struggles this person must have been having to treat people like this, it still doesn’t justify her behavior.
Lies, Deceit, and Manipulation
One of this woman’s favorite tactics was to say one thing and do another. For example, on a call, she’d agree to the deadline for a project being at the end of the week. Yet, when you didn’t have it done the following day, she would call you up and start scolding you for not having it done sooner. Her actions didn’t match her words.
The team was afraid of her, and she was known as both a bully and a hater. She was in a supervisor role, but I did not report into her, thankfully.
When she was training me, I asked if I could record the call, so that I could easily reference the recording to remember the large amount of information she was sharing with me. She said she didn’t want me to record the call – she’s the only colleague of mine to request this, and it made it a lot harder to be trained because everyone was working remotely due to the pandemic. She likely didn’t want her lies and false promises to be recorded.
The worst was when a colleague of mine recently left the company. A lot of his work came onto my plate, and my schedule was overwhelming. In addition to analyst-type responsibilities, I was forced to take on a customer-centric role, with hundreds of unhappy customers waiting for my response. She started harassing me via email, saying, “You need to get back to all of these customers, immediately! That is your top priority!”
The truth is, I had other priorities from my two bosses, and she didn’t control my work schedule. She wasn’t my boss. Yes, getting back to the customers was important, but it was one responsibility amidst many responsibilities, and she didn’t seem to get that. When I responded back to her explaining this, she ignored me.
This Person Treated Others Even Worse
This workplace bully treated others even worse than she treated me. One of my colleagues got on a call with me, nearly in tears, and he said, “Jeff, I’m losing sleep at night because of her. She’s verbally attacking me left and right, and my anxiety is sky high. I don’t understand why she refuses to be transparent. She’s really hard to work with.”
I got anxiety from working with her as well. This particular person expected you to get everything done within a ridiculously short period of time, and when you didn’t meet those unfair and unreasonable expectations, she started verbally attacking you. She’s the definition of an “unsafe person”. When I left this company and went to work somewhere else, I was so happy to not have to deal with her anymore.
Why I Shared This Workplace Bullying Story
The reason why I shared this workplace bullying story is to draw attention to the fact that this happens all the time in workplaces across the world. The first piece of the puzzle is awareness: we need to simply become more aware of this kind of bad behavior in our colleagues. While I have more extreme stories than this – which I’ve shared with you before and will share with you in future posts – I thought this was a good story to show that when someone like this bully lacks self-awareness, they not only refuse to change, but they make the people around them miserable.
When people are miserable, their productivity goes down. Workplace bullying significantly negatively affects the bottom line.
Please stay tuned for the next blog post, where I’ll talk about how my people-pleasing boss (who was also her boss) enabled this bully’s behavior, and why bullying needs to be viewed and acted upon as unacceptable. More posts to look forward to include more stories from my experiences as well as the experiences of others, and how we can start to put an end to bullying in the workplace.
Daryl Woodhouse is a leadership expert, peak performance strategist, speaker, and executive coach who facilitates workplace culture transformation. Jeff Davis is a resiliency expert, mental health speaker, workshop facilitator, and workplace culture change strategist. Together, they are co-hosting an event, “How to end bullying & create a workplace culture & bottom line that thrives“, on January 25th at 11 AM EST/4 PM GMT. Register on eventbrite and save the date!
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