Chirona Rose Silverstein’s career journey has been one of resilience, self-discovery, and advocacy. Their experiences at Intel, spanning various roles from technical program management to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work, highlight the complexities and dysfunctions of navigating corporate environments while staying true to your identity. In this eye-opening interview, Chirona shares their insights on workplace culture, gender identity, and the importance of inner healing.
Early Career at Intel
Chirona began their career at Intel in 2011 through a rotational engineering program after earning a master’s degree in materials engineering. They spent three years in quality and reliability before transitioning to technical program management in the data center organization. During this period, they worked on mobile devices and supercomputers, and later shifted to the DEI group within Intel’s Global Inclusion Office, leading a global inclusive leadership program.
Reflecting on their time in technical roles, Chirona noted the impact of having an incredible manager early on. “I couldn’t fully appreciate it until I left and joined a different team,” they said. However, changing teams exposed them to the stark reality of Intel’s broader culture.
Cultural Challenges and Blatant Toxicity
Over a two-year period, Chirona experienced three job transitions and four different managers. Some of these managers were consistently late to one-on-one meetings or lacked understanding of Chirona’s work. One manager even provided feedback that they were “showing up too emotionally” in meetings, labeling it as problematic.
“I started crying when I got that feedback,” Chirona recalled. “I tried to share the impact it had on me, but I was told that if I acted emotionally, I wouldn’t be successful here.” This feedback was given by a female manager.
“The toxic culture at Intel was pervasive, with employees being yelled at in meetings and walking out in tears. To cope, I often put on headphones to drown out the environment. Despite this detachment, I became a go-to person for colleagues seeking comfort and support.”
“This touches my heart,” I said. “And I give you so much credit for sharing this. Having been labeled as ‘too emotional’ by a good amount of people throughout my career, I find it both brave and inspiring that you’re owning this as your superpower.”
Transition to DEI Work
Seeking a healthier environment, Chirona transitioned into HR and DEI work, where the atmosphere was noticeably less toxic. “I no longer needed music on constantly just to get through the day,” they said. However, disillusionment with corporate DEI efforts soon set in.
“The focus was more about the numbers than about really caring for women, African Americans, and other marginalized groups,” they explained. Despite being part of initiatives like the Mindful Workplace Alliance, Chirona found that DEI efforts often treated mindfulness as a wellness issue rather than a core inclusion strategy.
Experiencing Misgendering and Lack of Inclusion
Chirona came out as non-binary while in this role and faced constant misgendering, even within DEI spaces. “People would outwardly accept me, but they weren’t doing the internal work to avoid misgendering me,” they said.
One pivotal moment occurred at a Better Man Conference workshop, where they were repeatedly misgendered by the head of the organization. “Someone had to repeat back what he was saying to get him to realize it,” Chirona shared. The lack of accountability was draining, and they often found themselves having to explain their identity to others, even when they hadn’t been asked if they were comfortable doing so.
“It seems like a lack of respect for you,” I said.
“Yes,” Chirona said.
In a frank conversation with their manager, Chirona expressed frustration over being misgendered 100% of the time within their 50-person department. “The one ally who consistently got it right was on maternity leave,” they noted.
Burnout and Departure from Intel’s Insidious Culture
“After years of navigating a challenging environment, I experienced burnout,” Chirona said. “I couldn’t turn to the LGBTQ+ resource group because my peers were running it,” they said.
Eventually, when Intel offered a severance package during corporate layoffs, both Chirona and their manager chose to leave.
“Reflecting on my departure, I experienced Intel’s toxicity as insidious,” Chirona said. “It wasn’t blatant, but it was fake support combined with a lack of real effort to change. People acknowledged it was hard work, but they weren’t willing to do it.”
Chirona likened constant questioning of their identity to asking a mixed-race person about their cultural heritage repeatedly.
“It’s like saying, ‘Oh, I’m from California,’ and people respond, ‘But where are you really from?'” they said.
They emphasized that apologies should be about acknowledging harm and moving forward rather than centering the apologizer’s feelings. “If you hurt someone, your responsibility is to not hurt them again next time,” they said.
Healing Deep Emotional Wounds From Childhood
Beyond their professional journey, Chirona has been on a path of healing from childhood emotional abuse. Raised in a household affected by addiction, they took on a parental role at a very young age. “By age five, I was trying to take care of everyone in my family,” they said.
Recognizing that over-functioning was a trauma response was a major revelation for them. “Our society uplifts that kind of engagement in the world,” they observed. Through meditation, therapy, and participating in a year-long recovery cohort, they have worked to reprogram their brain and prioritize self-care.
“It’s lifelong work,” they said. “But showing up for others means doing my own healing first. One book I’ve found to be incredibly powerful is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson, PsyD.”
“I just got goosebumps,” I said. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a book recommended to me by my therapist and it’s hands-down the best book I’ve ever read, having dealt with emotionally immature parents myself.”
“Welcome to the club,” Chirona said with a smile.
Intel’s Top-Level Leaders Didn’t Care
Chirona candidly spoke about Intel’s leadership, including CEO Pat Gelsinger, who refused to post a LinkedIn message in support of Pride Month. “My manager cared, but at the top level, it was clear they didn’t,” they said.
“I like that we’re calling out Pat here,” I said. “Not maliciously holding a flamethrower, but to hold him accountable and to also look at root causes of Intel’s culture failures.”
“Yes,” Chirona said. “You can definitely mention him in the book.”
Despite the challenges, Chirona remains committed to advocating for inclusivity and self-awareness. “There’s always work to do—six months from now, a year from now. But I’m committed to doing my part.”
Chirona Rose Silverstein’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience, advocacy, and self-discovery. Their experiences serve as a reminder that while corporate environments can be challenging, there is always the possibility to speak up and use our experiences to help others. With the amount of misgendering that continues to happen daily, their story is powerful, needed, and helpful to others.
Chirona Rose Silverstein is a life transition coach, spiritualist, and adventurer who empowers LGBTQIA+ clients and allies through self-awareness, ritual design, and skill-building workshops.
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