Dysfunction in the workplace is absolutely brutal. It negatively affects our lives both at work and at home. It wears on our health and patience. It causes us anxiety and unease. Put bluntly, it sucks.
I’ve been in my fair share of dysfunctional workplaces:
- I once had a colleague at a Fortune 500 company literally charge at me in the office to fight me because I stopped putting up with their crap. This individual had to be held back by three people from fighting me.
- A co-owner of a company I worked for took something I told her in confidence and shared it publicly with others with the purpose of humiliating me and putting me down.
- I stood up to a corrupt CEO.
- The gossip and backstabbing at one company was so bad I decided to quit. The CEO kept me on as a consultant because he saw my value, but the jealousy of some individuals turned into them sabotaging me.
- I defeated a corrupt multi-billion-euro conglomerate with my team of lawyers. It was one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever gone through, especially because I was facing a severe health crisis while dealing with the corruption.
If you are facing dysfunction in the workplace, you are not alone. I and others know how you feel, and we are here to help. You can get through this. Here’s how to deal with dysfunction in the workplace.
Dealing With Dysfunction in the Workplace
Here are some ways to deal with incredibly difficult people and situations in the workplace:
- Stand up to the person (or people) who are the root cause of the dysfunction. Privately share with them how you feel. While this doesn’t always work, it can sometimes cause people to realize that they were coming across in unintended ways.
- Go to your boss about the dysfunction. See if they are willing to do something about it. If your boss is choosing to tolerate the dysfunction, go to your boss’s boss or someone even higher in the hierarchy. If need be, go to the CEO. I once went to a CEO regarding dysfunction in the company and it worked really well and led to solutions.
- Lead by example and maintain your integrity. Dysfunctional people are, sadly, looking to pull you down into the mud with them. While it’s not easy, sometimes it pays off to bite your tongue and let them dig their own grave.
- Quit the company. Some people are never going to change. If you are in a company and organization where the entire ecosystem is toxic, it may be time to move on. Apply to jobs in your free time and start going on interviews.
- Press charges if need be. When bullying turns into harassment and unreasonable demands turn into threats, it may be time to consult legal advice. That’s what I did in 2020 when I squared off against corruption here in The Netherlands. You have rights as an employee. Stand up for those rights.
Situations are nuanced as they are varied. It’s extremely important to pay attention to your particular circumstance and situation. Consult the advice of close friends and trust your intuition and best judgment. Sometimes it makes sense to simply walk away from certain people. Other times, it’s NOT good to say nothing and your best choice may be to stand up to a bully.
One of the main things I’d like to convey to you here is that you have options. You have choices and options – way more than your company or the dysfunctional people you’re working with are leading you to believe. In tune with your integrity and staying true to yourself, it’s up to you to decide what your best course of action is given your particular situation.
An Example of Dealing With Dysfunction in the Workplace
In early 2016, I decided to take a high-paying job in Times Square, New York City. It seemed like a dream job and I was being hired into a leadership role.
It ended up being a mistake to take this job. First, the role was nothing like they said it would be. I ended up doing advanced excel reporting 100% of the time. During the interview, excel never once came up. They asked me a lot about my digital marketing experience, specifically with Google Ads and Google Analytics. They said the manager role would utilize my experience.
When I did the job, I didn’t even have access to Google Ads or Google Analytics. As I mentioned, it was all excel reporting. I watched lots of YouTube videos and did other kinds of tutorials, improving my excel skills enough to perform in my role. I worked hard both during and after work to master excel. I didn’t like it.
No job is perfect, and all jobs entail doing things you don’t like. I would have been OK doing excel reporting 15 to 20% of the time, or perhaps as much as 30 to 40% of the time. But to be doing it all day, every day was simply not what I signed up for.
I could have asked better questions in the interview process. At the same time, I also feel like they didn’t paint an accurate picture of the role during the interview process. They made it seem like I’d be working in Google Ads and Google Analytics. The extreme deep dive into advanced excel reporting was unexpected and caught me off guard.
I was going with the flow and sticking it out. I’m a hard worker and I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. But the dysfunction in this role came from several angles. My colleagues, managers, and department did not communicate well with one another. Communication is a strength of mine and I found the way the team communicated with one another to be strange. It was unclear and unpredictable.
With all of the above said, there was something that happened that really frustrated me. It also shows how this was a toxic place to work. One of my colleagues came over to my desk and started yelling at me, demanding that I prioritize her request. She was in a specialist role and she did not dictate my priorities. But she was extremely demanding and disrespectful. I was choosing to instead work on a higher priority request from the head of the department.
Additionally, someone in a junior role two levels below was quite rude and disrespectful to me. I’m not saying his behavior was personal, but I am saying that it was unprofessional and uncalled for.
I told my bosses about this ridiculous behavior from my colleagues. To their credit, they spoke to the woman who abrasively disrespected me by yelling at me. They agreed that her behavior was inappropriate and uncalled for. As far as the junior colleague, they didn’t address it with him. They told me to not take it personally and to brush it off.
For the record, their advice wasn’t bad. Learning to detach and not take things personally can be healthy. However, in my experience of the situation, they didn’t address the root cause of the dysfunction in the workplace. So, things didn’t really change.
While the woman in the specialist role stopped yelling at me because she was spoken to by the big bosses, she clearly had a problem with me. She had a negative attitude toward me and bad energy. Others in the workplace continued acting in strange and unhelpful ways toward me.
One day, I had enough. After speaking to someone I’m close to about the dysfunction and doing some reflecting, I decided that enough was enough. I sent a very peaceful and respectful email to my three bosses (going up to three levels above my manager role). I told them that I thought highly of them, though I wasn’t really meshing with the team or my particular role. As fate had it, none of these bosses were in the office on this day, otherwise I would have spoken to them face to face.
In the email I noted that I had enough and was going to leave right then and there. I then packed up my bag and left the office, never looking back.
While the content of the role was not what I expected, the deeper reason why I left was because of the dysfunction in the workplace.
You Have Choices and Options
In most of the jobs I’ve had in my life, I did an official two week notice when leaving (here in Europe, it’s usually a one month notice!). I’m usually not one to burn bridges, and the purpose of sharing the above story with you is not to encourage you to walk out of your job on the spot for no reason. The purpose in sharing this story is to demonstrate that you have options and choices. Sometimes, when enough is enough, it’s time to go.
Because the email I sent to my three bosses was so respectful, they didn’t end up being mad with me for leaving on the spot. I also had not been working in the role for very long (several months), so there wasn’t anything I need to train on others before going. Point being, I wasn’t screwing anyone over by leaving on the spot. All things considered, walking out on the spot was a practical option, and that’s what I did.
Within the specifics of this situation:
- I noticed that there were several things wrong with this dysfunctional workplace.
- The role was nothing like it was described to me.
- I went to my bosses about the dysfunction. They addressed it a surface level, but didn’t look at any root causes (for example, the bad team communication was one of the root causes).
- One colleague yelled loudly at me in front of others. Another colleague disrespected me. Both of these people were supposed to be reporting to me, not making demands that made no sense.
- When enough was enough, I decided to leave on the spot. You are not a prisoner or slave of your company. If they haven’t held up their end of the bargain, then decide to do yourself a favor by leaving.
Companies are allowed to fire people and ask people to leave on the spot. It’s a two-way street, not a double standard. If you’d like to leave on the spot, then do that. If/when push comes to shove, you have that option.
If the terms of your contract are set up in such a way that it wouldn’t make sense for you to walk out on the spot or you feel like you need to tie up some loose ends, then honor those terms and leave as fast as possible. Don’t be afraid to put in your notice and quit.
When you realize all the choices and options you have in a given situation, even in the midst of challenging circumstances, you take the power back into your hands. You become free again and your peace of mind will return.
Stop Tolerating Dysfunction in the Workplace
People are imperfect. Workplaces are imperfect. Learning to tolerate some degree of difficulty is a useful life skill. But when the dysfunction in the workplace becomes so toxic that your health and well-being is negatively affected, it’s time to seriously consider leaving.
See if you can improve things in your workplace. Keep the conversation open and respectful. Go to your colleagues and bosses with possibilities and solutions. But if the people you work with are not willing to meet you halfway, you owe it to yourself to move on to a better workplace.
What’s your experience with dealing with dysfunction in the workplace and how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below.
Jeff Davis is an award-winning author, most recently publishing The Power of Authentic Leadership: Activating the 13 Keys to Achieving Prosperity Through Authenticity. Connect with him on LinkedIn and follow him on Twitter. For three free books (The Power of Authentic Leadership, Reach Your Mountaintop, and Traveling Triumphs) in exchange for being added to his email list, email his Executive Assistant at meg@jeffdspeaks.com. Learn more about his story on his About page and feel free to check out his author page on Amazon. Also feel free to contact Jeff directly via jeff@jeffdspeaks.com. What Jeff does best is sharing his work experiences in a way that adds real value to others. Consider bringing him to speak as a mental health, authentic leadership, and/or resiliency expert at your next event.
