Feeling Betrayed By My Best Friend
I used to be the shyest person you’d ever meet.
Not sure if you had this in your Middle School, but in my Middle School there were different tables where people sat at lunch. There was the table where the most popular kids sat. A table for the “semi-popular” kids. A table for various kinds of groups. There was also a table for the nerds, also known as the “losers”.
I didn’t sit at any of these tables. I sat in the corner of the lunch room with my one friend. We ate lunch together every day.
One day, my friend decided to go and sit with the nerds. He did this without giving me a heads-up and he kept sitting there. I then ate lunch at a table by myself every day.
To my 6th-grade mind, at age eleven, I felt like I’d been punched in my gut. He was my one friend and I felt betrayed. As I ate lunch by myself, I saw him sitting over with the nerds laughing and having a good time. I felt a lot of sadness. Of course, looking back on it now from an adult mind – good for him to make new friends! But at that age, to eat lunch by myself every day and to have no one notice you…that sucked.
I was – no exaggeration here – the biggest loser in the entire school. That was a tough year.
Receiving Tough Feedback From My New Friend
The next year, in 7th grade, I made a new friend who was in a lot of the same classes as me. We didn’t eat lunch together but we talked a lot during classes. He was a popular kid and I felt “cool” that he thought I was worth talking to.
He had a birthday party and invited all his friends to it. He didn’t invite me. Before class started one day, I summed up all my courage and asked him why he didn’t invite me.
“You don’t talk to anyone,” he said to me. “I didn’t want you at my party.”
I went home that day and cried for a long time. I went into my room that evening and I made a firm inner decision: I was going to start talking to more people.
The Power of Reinvention Through a Firm Inner Decision
I started talking to anyone and everyone. It was very awkward at first, but I forced myself to step outside of my comfort zone. I made many friends. I made a name for myself. I went from the biggest loser in the school to someone who knew everyone. Some kids even asked me, “Jeff, how did you become so popular? What’s your secret?”
My 7th-grade teacher came up to me one day while I was sitting at lunch with the popular kids. I was the center of attention.
“I’ve been teaching a long time,” she said to me, in front of everyone. “And never – and I mean never – in my life have I seen someone transform the way you’ve transformed.”
I didn’t change for someone else. I changed for myself because I wanted to get better at talking to others (a good reason to change). I also stayed true to my core.
Here are some things I learned from my Middle School experience of going from the shyest kid in the whole school to one of the most popular kids:
1. You have the power to reinvent yourself.
2. You always have a choice with what you say and do (personality is malleable).
3. A firm inner decision to do something is life-changing.
Do you need an inspirational and transformational speaker for your next school event? Jeff would be honored to share his story as well as other practical insights that will leave the students feeling happy and hopeful. Learn more about his story on his About page and feel free to check out his author page on Amazon. Contact Jeff’s Executive Assistant via meg@jeffdspeaks.com today!
Leave a Reply